第七天 Going to
a Party
When planning to
go to a party, we need to consider two things. 1) Who will we be talking to,
and 2) What are some likely topics. In this lesson you will see three sample
conversations. Conversation A , Dan is calling Kay to confirm the party's
information and accept the invitation. In Conversation B, Dan arrives at the
party, greets Kay, the hostess, and offers her some wine he brought. Finally
in Conversation C, Dan meets the other guests, then makes "small
talk" and future plans with them. Requests are also made and received.
Remember, any conversation needs to incorporate clarification strategies to be
sure of the information. Many miscommunications have not only resulted in
embarrassment, but even disaster. Various clarification strategies are used
throughout the three conversations. Please read the notes, which will help you
understand the text.
Conversation
A
----------------------------------------
(Dan calls Kay)
Dan: Hello Kay. It's Dan. I just received the invitation to your party.
Kay: Can you make
it?
Dan: Well, let's
see. It's next Saturday night, 7:00 pm, at 201 Liberty Lane, Champaign. Right?
Kay: That's right.
I hope you can come?
Dan: It would be
my pleasure. Can I bring anything?
Kay: Just
yourself.
Dan: Ok, I'll be
there with bells on. I'm looking forward to it. Thanks.
Kay: Bye.
Dan: See you then.
Conversation
B
---------------------------------------------
(Dan and Kay upon his arrival.)
Dan: Hello.
Kay: Hi, come in.
Glad to see you.
Dan: (inside)
Thanks for inviting me. I brought some wine.
Kay: Oh, how nice.
Let me take it to the kitchen. Go on into the living room. I think you know
most everyone.
Conversation
C
---------------------------------------------
(Dan and the other guests.)
Bill: Hi! How are
you?
Dan: Fine. How
about you?
Bill: Super! Let
me introduce you to my niece, Claire.
Claire, this is
Dan--he works with me at the office.
Claire: Hello,
Dan.
Bill: Dan, this is
my brother John's daughter, Claire.
Dan: Pleased to
meet you. I didn't know John had a daughter? Where's he been hiding you?
Bill: She's been
living out East with his wife's sister. She just moved back.
Dan: What part of
the East, Claire?
Claire: Boston,
near the harbor.
Dan: It must be
quite a change--coming back here?
Claire: It is, but
I'm glad to be back and see all my freinds.
Bill: Hey, Dan. Do
you still play golf?
Dan: Not as much
as I would like.
Bill: Claire
plays. Maybe we could all play sometime soon?
Dan: That sounds
great. How about tomorrow morning?
B.&C.: Sure,
say 7:00, out at Harrison Park?
Dan: Great, 7 A.M.
at Harrison. I'll look forward to it.
Kay: (rejoining
the group) I see you've met Elizabeth.
Dan: Elizabeth? I
thought your name was Claire?
Claire: It is. My
aunt just calls me by Elizabeth.
Dan: Well, I've
not only met Elizabeth, but the three of us are off to the greens in the
morning.
Kay: She'll
probably whip the both of you! Ha Ha.
Bill: Dan, could
you pass me that newspaper? Let's see what the weather's supposed to be.
Dan: Sure, here
you go.
Bill: Thanks.
Claire: How often
do you play, Dan?
Dan: Well, this
year I've only played twice. How about you?
Claire: I was
playing weekly in Boston-- with my aunt, but since I came home I haven't
played once.
Bill: The report
is a humdinger. I guess the leftovers from hurricane Opal are gone.
Dan: So are you
saying it is supposed to be nice tomorrow?
Bill: I sure am.
It says it will be sunny and dry--perfect weather.
Kay: Enough about
golf. How's your dancing? Hey, Pete. Would you turn up the stereo? We've got a
party going on!
----------------------------------------------
Notes
"Let's see.
It's next Saturday night at 7 at your house and the address is 201 Liberty
Lane, Champaign."
This is a clarification strategy used to confirm the understood message. After
saying this, Dan can be 100% sure that the message he understood is the same
as the message Kay intended. If there was any misunderstanding, it could
easily be cleared up at this point. Now that Dan is sure he understands the
details, he can accept the invitation.
"I hope you
can make it?"
Kay is expressing
her hope that Dan can come; while at the same time, she is asking Dan to
respond whether he can or not. By asking in this way, Dan can give a number of
replies--Yes, No, Maybe, We'll see, Me too, etc. Kay doesn't make Dan feel
that he must give her his answer right now--perhaps pressuring him or making
him uncomfortable. She is being polite.
"I'll be
there with bells on."
He is telling Kay
that he will be there, but also he is letting her know he is excited about it
and will be there on time. ("with bells on" is an American idiom
which means to be excited about the event and will be there exactly on time.)
"Can I bring
anything?"
In most informal
situations it is considered a common courtesy to ask the hostess this. Often
the reply will be "no, but thank you for asking" or "if you
like, but it's not necessary". Regardless of the hostess's reply, it is a
friendly gesture on your part to take some wine, flowers, candy or even just
potato chips--depending on the situation.
"I'm looking
forward to it."
This is a polite
conversation close. It says he won't forget, while signalling there is no more
to say now.
"Thanks for
inviting me. I brought some wine."
These two go
together--each complementing the other. He is not only expressing his pleasure
with words, but also reinforces the words with a gift. By saying this
combination, neither Dan or Kay are left stumbling with who should say what
about the wine which is obviously in Dan's arms.
"Let me
introduce you to..."
Introductions are
politely done in a particular form and with a specific pattern of words. 99%
of the time an introduction will go as follows:
"Dan, let me introduce you to Claire."
"Claire, meet Dan."
The names are repeated as such to help the two parties to remember them. This
form also implies an equality of the two parties. Often an explanation or
connection is given for how the person doing the introducing has come to know
the two. In Bill's case, he tells Dan that Claire is his niece and tells
Claire that Dan works with him in his office.
"What part of
the East, Claire?"
By asking a
general question of Claire that follows up on a previous part of the
conversation, Dan is showing interest in getting to know Claire better. And by
using her name at the end, Dan is not only reinforcing his memory of her name,
but also letting Claire know he was interested enough in her to remember her
name.
"It must be
quite a change --coming back here?"
Dan is again
asking Claire a question which shows his interest in her, and also the
question is stated in such a way as to now give Claire the opportunity to tell
Dan more about herself. If she wishes to let him know more about her she can
now do so easily. If she does not, she is not in an awkward position of having
to either answer a very specific question or stumble to find a way to avoid
it.
"I'm glad to
be back and see all of my friends."
Claire chose to
answer Dan's question in a very non-revealing way. With these words, Claire is
saying "One good thing about being back is seeing my friends," and
no more. She isn't forced to reply about any personal reasons for why she came
back; however, if she would have liked to, the question would have allowed her
to easily do so.
"Do you still
play golf?"
Hobbies such as
sports are often a way to begin a conversation with someone. When someone
plays a particular sport, they are usually glad to talk about it and it is an
easy way to make a common interest known. Bill not only asks Dan about a sport
he plays, but Bill knows that it is a common interest of the three conversation
participants and that they all could feel comfortable talking about it.
"Not as much
as I would like."
Dan could have
simply answered "Yes" or "No", but by replying this way he
also conveys that he would like to play more. This gives Bill the opportunity
to come back with a suggestion that they go and play sometime--a suggestion
that Dan was probably hoping for when he chose which words to say.
"I see you've
met Elizabeth."
This is a very
easy way to enter into an already-in-progress conversation. It requires a
response and that requires a break in the conversation-in-progress.
"Elizabeth? I
thought your name was Claire."
Dan has just been
given a very confusing message. He needs to sort it out. The clarification
strategy used here is very direct and to the point--this woman in front of him
has been called by two different names and he wants to know why.
"Could you
pass me that newspaper?"
By beginning with
"could" this is asking,"Is it possible?". It is a polite
way to make a request. But notice even though it is very polite there is no
"please" used. "Please" may have been included, but it is
common among close friends to drop it in a casual situation. With it, the
request would seem more formal and since "could" was used it was not
as formal as a request such as, "Please pass me the newspaper."
"Sure, here
you go."
An informal answer
to an informal request is appropriate. This answer implies that he doesn't
mind at all--helping the requester to not feel uncomfortable asking for the
assistance.
"How often do
you play, Dan?"
Claire is now
showing interest in knowing more about Dan. The question is not personal, but
the reply could provide her with some clues into Dan's lifestyle. The theme of
golf is used because it has already been seen to be an agreeable topic. You
should be careful not to "wear out" a topic, however.
"How about
you?"
When someone asks
you a "How do you..." type question, 99% of the time the appropriate
response is to first answer, then ask "How about you?" or "And
you?". By doing this you will show that you are interested in others'
choices or opinions.
"Enough about
golf! How's your dancing?"
Kay is showing her
disinterest in talking about golf and that she wants a change of topic. It is
also clear that she does not simply want to know about your dancing. She wants
you to actually dance with her. Since party's usually have music and an
environment which would be suitable for dancing, this approach is very
effective for changing the tone of the conversation as well as for getting a
dance partner.
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