Why is six afraid of seven?
-----------------------Because seven eight nine.
What do you call your father-in-law’s only child’s
mother-in-law?
-----------------------Mom.
Why do lions eat raw meat?
-----------------------Because they never learn to cook.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
-----------------------To get to the other side.
Why did the fox cross the road?
-----------------------To get the chicken.
Why did the gum cross the road?
-----------------------It was on the chicken’s foot.
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
-----------------------To prove it was not a chicken.
Why did the weasel cross the road twice?
-----------------------He was a double crosser.
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
-----------------------It didn’t have the guts.
What goes up a chimney down, but won’t go down a chimney
up?
-----------------------Ann umbrella.
What’s black and white and red all over?
-----------------------A zebra that doesn’t know how to
put lipstick on.
What is the largest ant in the world?
-----------------------An elephant.
How much is a skunk worth?
-----------------------One scent.
What kind of monkey can fly?
-----------------------A hot air baboon.
Why did the cake like to play baseball?
-----------------------Because it was a good batter.
What goes hahaha, plop?
-----------------------Someone laughing their head off.
Why didn’t the lady run away from the attacking lion?
-----------------------They told her it was a maneating
lion.
Why has no one ever spotted a leopard in Africa?
-----------------------Because leopards are already born
with spots.
What did the banana do when it heard the ice scream?
-----------------------It split.Swings by his thigh a
thing most magical! Below the belt, beneath the folds of
his clothes it hangs, a hole in its front end, stiff-set
and stout, but swivels about. Levelling the head of this
hanging instrument, its wielder hoists his hem above the
knee: it is his will to fill a well-known hole that it
fits fully when at full length. He has often filled it
before. Now he fills it again.
----------------------- a key
I’m the world’s wonder, for I make women happy --a boon
to the neighborhood, a bane to no one,
though I may perhaps prick the one who picks me. I am
set well up, stand in a bed, have a roughish root.
Rarely (though it happens) a churl’s daughter more
daring than the rest --and lovelier! --lays hold of me,
and lays me in larder.
She learns soon enough, the curly-haired creature who
clamps me so, of my meeting with her: moist is her eye!
-----------------------an onion
A young man made for the corner where he knew she was
standing; this strapping youth had come some way--with
his own hands he whipped up her dress, and under her
girdle (as she stood there) thrust something stiff,
worked his will; they both shook. This fellow quickened:
one moment he was forceful, a first rate servant, so
strenuous that the next he was knocked up, quite blown
by his exertion. Beneath the girdle a thing began to
grow that upstanding men often think of, tenderly, and
acquire.
----------------------- dough
I’m told a certain something grows in its pouch, swells
and stands up, lifts its covering. A proud bride grasped
that boneless wonder, the daughter of a king covered
that swollen thing with clothing.
-----------------------a churn
A lovely woman, a lady, often locked me in a chest; at
times she took me out with her fingers, and gave me to
her lord and loyal master, just as he asked. Then he
poked his head inside me, pushed it up until it fitted
tightly. I, adorned, was bound to be filled with
something rough if the loyal lord
could keep it up. Guess what I mean.
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